Tuesday, March 8, 2011

my first shot at this

  K, I've thought about doing this for a long time. Not quite sure how it will work out but it's worth a try. i consider myself a pretty regular guy with a pretty average life. I have two kids (boy & a girl in that order) who's ages and names right now will be kept private until I know how this thing will work out. Three step children (girl, boy, girl) and a wife who I am currently separated from which is mostly why i am doing this, as an attempt to release some of the feelings and pent up frustrations from the whole situation. in all honesty our break up is mostly my fault but at the same time I have to say that it's hard to hold a relationship together when you feel like your the only one trying in that relationship. and after so long of feeling ignored in my own house for no apparent reason one could find it understandable why you would just give up and accept the role of being invisible. I do love my wife and I do dream of a day of being with my family again but it is with some trepidation and fear of going back into the same invironment as it was right before I was kicked out.
  The one bright spot of my life for the last 6 months has been the relationship with my son which has only gotten stronger through all of this and were it not for our situation I probably would never have had spent as much one on one with him as I have. He is my shadow in every sense of the word and I love watching him grow and learn every day.
  I am also a Mormon and believe with everything inside of me that that is the tru church. So anyone who happens to come along this blog, you don't have to agree with my beliefs but if it upsets you...it's my blog so either stop reading or deal with it. I make no excusses for how I live my life, I make mistakes and I try and lear from them. Sometimes it works other times I need another lesson.
  thats enough of an introduction for now. I'll give this a shot for a while, I already feel a llittle bit better! 

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